Teleporting Cats

I am not a cat person. However, when I married my beautiful wife, I had to quickly adapt to her two cats. I went from no cats to two adult, indoor cats. Within this transition I have learned many things about cats, both good and bad.

One of the most remarkable things that I have deduced is that cats possess the power of teleportation. Lewis Carroll was on to something when he wrote of the Cheshire cat. I have been looking at a cat one moment, then after merely blinking the once observed cat is halfway across the house in another room. Our cats are not that fast nor do they possess fabled cat-like reflexes.To cover the space in question would require mach speeds and the agility of computer assisted navigation. The only reasonable conclusion is that cats possess the ability of limited jumps in space/time, otherwise known as teleportation.

Cat lovers may at first scoff at the notion alongside everyone else. However, I urge careful observation and then you will join in my assessment. Scoffers may note that cats cannot teleport from one room to the next. Their are currently limitations to the teleportation ability of domestic felines. Cats cannot teleport through a closed door. I believe that this may simply be a mental block on their part. In reality a barbed wire fence cannot stop an adult bull, but he thinks it's a barrier (most of the time). For cats, a closed door is perceived as a barrier and that thankfully limits their ability to teleport.

I pray that cats never realize their full teleportation ability. It is tempting to propose research into the feline teleportation phenomena to harness for human advancement, but I fear that would unlock a Pandora's box jeopardizing humankind on a SyFy B-movie scale.

I also pray for a dog.